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wings
We walk by faith
not by sight
I REMEMBER so well the words asked by Bishop Joel McDavid to those of us standing in the chancel area of First United Methodist Church of Albany, Ga. "Will you go where sent?" And of course you know I said, "Yes", just like everyone before me had answered yes.
In the ensuing years I began to understand the consequences of my answer to that question. In fact, that very year I was sent to Palen/Mt. Zion United Methodist churches in Savannah. Contrary to popular opinion, I was not enamored with Savannah. I loved the Statesboro area where I served. Statesboro was a small county-seat town at that time, surrounded by even smaller towns that I had grown to love. I also knew the people there and loved them. They knew me and were supportive of the ministry God was leading us to develop in the four churches on that charge. On the night I drove over to Savannah to check things out, I discovered that Palen was located in the inner city. I wanted to call my superintendent and say I had changed my mind. But I remembered the vow I affirmed less than a week before. So I drove back to Statesboro and finished packing.
In the three years that I served Palen and Mt. Zion, I discovered that the same Holy Spirit who was with me in Statesboro was also with me in Savannah. As I later reflected on those feelings during my visit to Palen, I realized that Savannah wasn't really the wrong place for me. My real problem was that I had become comfortable in Statesboro and had learned the lay of the land. I was wrestling with my fear of the unknown. I wanted to walk by sight and not by faith.
Well, maybe that's the real challenge we pastors and laity face when there is a change in appointments. Maybe we're afraid to trust God and walk by faith in new surroundings - with new pastors and new people as our partners in ministry. Maybe we are so tied to "our way" of doing ministry that we're unable to rethink ministry, resisting our call to do so.
This fear is real. It is the same fear I had when I was told that Holston Conference would be my new home at 3:30 a.m. one morning at the 2004 Southeastern Jurisdictional Conference. But then I was reminded that many clergy before me had done this and God had not forsaken them - so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I realize there are many reasons why we don't want to move and reasons why we want to move. Those reasons might concern the schools our children attend; our spouse's employment; the fact that we are more at home in rural, suburban, or city settings; our preferences for Virginia, Tennessee, or Georgia; or a myriad of other explanations. In every case, what we're really saying is, "I want to control my life." It is a resistance to walk by faith. It is uncomfortable, and yet maybe it is more true to life than we realize because we truly cannot control what tomorrow will bring. And maybe, just maybe, God is trying to help us learn how to thrive in an unpredictable world.
So I leave you with these words - old words - but words that have brought comfort for centuries:
"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for you are with me."
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Bishop James Swanson
Resident Bishop
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